Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, the spirit tethered to a magical bridge rapidly approaches burnout – and craves her freedom. Elsewhere, Congress enacts a complex auditing system designed to un-waste your youth. We also follow a banished fairy, as she answers a Craigslist ad. And we meet a Victorian orphan, who gains literacy for her occult situationship. In another time and place, a multiverse assassin contemplates the one who got away. Escape the slow trudge of mortality with these magical ruminations on life, death and the love (or revenge) that outlasts both. This collection also features modified fairy tales, contemporary heists, absurdist poetry and at least one set of actual wedding vows.